Please Wake
by raindancer08
Summary: Harry is in a coma after being neglected by James and Lily because his twin is the boy who lived. James finally realizes something is wrong and vows to change.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own it and make no profit!

The day you and your twin were born was the happiest of my life. You were both perfect. My sons whom I loved more than life itself. The first time I held you, you opened those brilliant green eyes and looked quite seriously at me. Then you smiled at me as if you had determined I would do and I could be allowed to care for you. You closed your eyes and went to sleep. That day I swore I would always protect you and your brother. I swore your trust in me wouldn't be misplaced.

Then Voldemort came and it was the first time I failed you. You and Kevin sat together on a blanket playing and he reached you before Lily and I knew he was in the house. We heard an agonizing scream and then Kevin whimpering. I walked in to you unconscious and Kevin crying. You both had the most unusual scars on your foreheads. Lily called Dumbledore and he declared Kevin had temporarily banished Voldemort and he was a hero. He told us we should send you away to focus on training Kevin. I didn't let you down this time though. I told them if you were sent away, I would take Kevin and find you always.

I began to fail you more and more as you grew. As babies you were always less needful than Kevin. You were more patient and more likely to share your toys. So when Lily told me you decided Kevin should get to go to quidditch games and go on vacation with us and you wanted to stay home I believed her. Sometimes you came and I didn't notice the looks Lily gave you. I believed Lily when she told me you asked for Kevin to have more gifts than you on your birthday. You were still a happy child and Kevin was your best friend. I reasoned if you still got along with Kevin, you must not have minded what was going on.

When you went to Hogwarts, my failings grew. When you and Kevin both made the quidditch team, Lily insisted on getting Kevin a new broom. We got you a used one and she swore you wouldn't mind. I didn't believe Kevin when he told me how much we hurt you and how we always put you second. I couldn't see it. Each time you and Kevin went on life-threatening adventures we always seemed to gravitate to Kevin first and then give you a cursory check to see if you were ok. Dumbledore and Lily constantly told me you would be ok and you understood our focus had to be Kevin, because he had to defeat Voldemort someday.

Kevin told me you didn't think we loved you and I wouldn't hear it. I should have realized something was wrong years ago when Sirius and Remus commented on our behavior and Lily decided they were no longer welcome in our house. I should have realized I wasn't showing my precious baby boy the attention and love he deserved without outside help and I have no excuses.

I'm so sorry Harry. I'm sorry you began cutting yourself and I didn't notice. I'm sorry you cut too deep and are now lying still as death in a coma in Hogwarts hospital wing. Now all I want is for you to wake. When you do I promise everything will change. It'll be different, I swear. Kevin, you and me, we're going to be a family. I see Lily for what she is now. A conniving woman who cares more about fame than caring for her children. I'm divorcing her Harry and I'm not listening to Dumbledore anymore. It's just us and your brother now baby boy. I've failed you 15 of your 16 years of life and it ends now. We'll go far away from here if you want. Anything baby boy, I'll do anything to make this up to you, to show you that you made the right choice when you judged me and found me worthy to be your father. I'm so sorry Harry. Please wake.

* * *

Author's Note: I want to expand this, but the only thing that will be added to this story will be the perspectives of the other's involved, such as Harry, Kevin, Lily, Remus, Sirius, and Dumbledore. If I decide to make this a full length chaptered story, it will be posted separately. Also, if I write it I will not begin posting until I have finished it and it has been at least half-way beta'd so no worries about abandonment. Thanks so much for reading, please review if you have a chance.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own it!

**Kevin (Harry's twin) POV**

You swore to me you would stop. I don't know what else to do. How do I make you see how much you mean to everybody. You were always there for me when I was tired of being the boy who lived, when I was tired of the nonstop demands from our mother, when I cried. You were whom I went to when I needed advice.

Each time we were in a life or death situation, it was always you who got us out. Don't you know how important you are to me? They say I'm the hero, but you've always been mine. I would be nobody without you and I will be nobody if you die. They say that as twins we share one soul. I believe that to be true and you possess the best of our soul.

You've touched so many souls, Harry. Without you, Luna would still be an outcast with no friends to care about her. Without you, Neville would still be a clumsy boy afraid of his own shadow lacking the confidence he now has. Without you, Professor Snape wouldn't have been able to forgive himself and release his personal demons and without you Draco Malfoy would still be on his way to becoming a Death Eater.

Dad has finally realized what he's missed. I told you he loved both of us, but he was blinded to Lily's nature. He swears if you wake up he'll make up for everything. I believe him, Harry. I can see the sorrow on his face. He knows he messed up and he'll do anything to fix it. We can finally be the family you always dreamed of.

You had been doing so well. You hadn't cut in months. I knew I shouldn't of let you speak to that bitch we call a mother alone and I knew I shouldn't have left you on your own afterwards. I told you to come to me with your problems. I wish I knew what she said to you.

You just can't die Harry because without light there is no hope to defeat the dark. Without you, I won't be able to fight and according to Dumbledore the Wizarding World will perish without me. I promised you as your big brother to always be there for you and to always have your back. If you die, you won't be alone, I promise. I love you, my brother and my hero. Please, please wake.

* * *

So I've decided to add Kevin's say and now I'm working on Harry's POV and then the finale. So you can expect two more parts to this. No promises to when it'll be out though. I'm working at least 9-5 Monday through Friday and sometimes longer. Please review and let me know what you think!


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

(Harry's POV)

I know you are all wondering why I cut my wrists again. I've been in a coma for a week and a half and I wish I could explain to Kevin and Dad what happened. I guess I'll have to explain to you since you are the only ones who can hear me right now. This is what happened the day I entered the coma.

* * *

"You're such a waste of life Harry. I knew I should have convinced James to put you up for adoption after You-Know-Who attacked. All you ever do is distract your brother from his task. He's destined for great things and you, you just prevent him from achieving them. One day he'll have to fight You-Know-Who and guess what Harry. If he fails it will be your fault and your fault alone. Because you still exist and you distract him from training. He won't be prepared and-"

"Lily," I interrupted, "I don't care to hear your delusions. I'd rather you left the hospital wing. Recovering from a fight with upper level Death Eaters is by no means easy and you're disturbing my rest."

"Good," Lily replied. "Just keep in mind that if you love your brother, you should die. You should die so he can succeed. Don't think I don't know you were cutting. In fact, I subtly encouraged you with a spell. Do the world a favor and just die. When Kevin defeats You-Know-Who I'll make sure we abandon you anyway. We'll be the perfect family and you'll just be an unloved urchin who should have never-"

"Mother," Kevin spoke as he entered the room. "I think you should leave now. Harry looks tired."

"O, you're right, sweetie. I guess I just lost track of time. Well, I'll be going now, mummy loves you both."

Lily walked out of the room and Kevin came to me and held my hand.

"You ok in here, Harry? I'm really sorry I let her in, but Madam Pomfrey told me I couldn't not allow our mother to speak to you."

"It's ok Kevin. I know you love me, regardless of anything that spews from that she-devil's mouth."

"That's right, but are you sure you're ok?"

"Kevin, I'm fine. Stop worrying. Lily stopped having an effect on me long ago."

"If you're sure."

"I'm sure. Now don't we have some homework or something we should be doing?"

* * *

Later that night… (Lily's POV)

I'm so tired of that little brat. I never wanted more than one child anyway. But now, now, I finally have a way to be rid of him forever. He's been caught cutting before. Who's to say he wouldn't do it again?

(Harry's POV)

Lily snuck into the hospital wing and cast a full-body bind curse on me causing me to wake.

Lily spoke a she slowly sliced my wrists. "O my sweet little baby boy. It's time for you to die. We can never be the perfect family with you around. The best part, everyone will believe you did it to yourself and the Potter family will rise to new heights without your presence."

Lily cast a spell to prevent my blood from clotting with my wand and slowly pressed a kiss to my head as my eyes followed her with sadness and anger. "Good bye baby boy. I'll leave you here to bleed to death. By the time the body bind wears off, you'll be too weak to do anything. Sleep well child."

Lily left the hospital wing. Just as I passed out from blood loss, the body bind lifted. Five minutes later, Kevin entered the hospital wing and frantically called for Madam Pomfrey to come save me.

* * *

So that's what happened. Thankfully, Kevin has refused to leave my side and Dad is almost always here, otherwise, Lily would have finished me off by now. I would and will never leave Kevin while he is in such danger from Voldemort and Lily. I will do all I can to come back to him. I find myself looking forward to spending time with my Dad and I will ensure Lily is kept far away from my brother. I guess right now I'm building my strength so I can take on Lily when I awaken, but I will keep asking my body to please wake.

* * *

Author's Note: SO SO sorry about the long wait. I finished my internship and jumped right back into school. I'm taking 4 upper level science courses, so I don't have much room to breath or do things I want to do like work on this story. Also, I have this other story that's jumped in my brain and I can't get rid of it. But I promise I won't start on it until I finish this one. Also, I need a beta if anyone's interested. Thank you for reading, for favoriting, for putting this on story alert, and for putting me on author alert. I'm humbled by it all and I hope that you all find this to your satisfaction. Let me know what you think. PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW. Oh and last but not least, thanks to my first group of reviewers who gave me the idea to continue from the first chapter. Peace, love, and happiness!


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I don't own it. :( But hey a girl can dream right?

* * *

"-been a good father to you Harry, but if you give me a chance. Just please. Harry? Harry!"

The small, lithe body James had been talking to began to move. The face grimaced before the boy laying on the bed let out a small yawn. Eyes James had despaired of ever seeing again slowly opened then blinked slowly.

"Daddy?" Harry asked softly.

"Harry! You're awake. You're ok. I, I need to get Madam Pomfrey." James hurried to get the nurse as Kevin went to his twin's bed.

Kevin hugged Harry close to him and kissed his cheek. "Harry, how could you do it again? Why? I thought you were ok. Do you know how worried I've been about you? I need you, Harry. "

"Kevin! Too many words. I just woke up. How long have I been unconscious? "

"It's been two weeks and Dad and I have been worried sick. He hasn't left the entire time since we found you. I told you he loved you." Kevin answered back, a little smugly.

"Well, you used to also tell me Mother loved me. Excuse me if I have a hard time trusting in parental affection." Harry snapped back defensively.

"Harry, I'm sorry"

"It's not your fault, Kevin. But there's something I need to tell you, before Father comes back. I didn't cut myself this time. I really quit when you asked me to." Harry said quickly. James heard Harry speaking as he was walking back into the room holding the potion bottles Madam Pomfrey asked him to carry out as she prepared. He drew in a quick breath and stopped moving as he heard Kevin ask what he desperately wanted to know.

"Then how, I mean what happened?"

Harry spoke timidly to his older brother. "I'm sorry Kevin, but it was Lily. She came in the hospital wing and placed me in a body bind, cut my wrists, and spelled me so my blood wouldn't clot."

Both boys looked up as they heard the potion bottles James was carrying in his hands hit the floor. James stared at the twins, a look of shock on his face before determination overcame him. He walked to Kevin and hugged him before hugging Harry.

"I'm truly sorry Harry. For everything you've had to go through because of us. I love you. Now I must go have a talk with your mother and some lawyers. Madam Pomfrey will be out shortly."

James placed a kiss on each of their foreheads before walking out of the hospital wing.

Kevin and Harry exchanged a look before Madam Pomfrey came rushing out of her office.

* * *

Kevin raced toward the hospital wing. He had two classes left for the day, but he was excused from class because of the news he had just received. He plopped into the seat next to Harry's bed, grateful his twin was awake.

"Harry, Harry guess what"

Harry raised an eyebrow at his twin's excited bouncing and replied, "Snape finally carried through on his threat to hang Hermione up by her hair if she didn't desist her insufferable behavior?"

"No, Dad did it. He started divorce proceedings on Lily. He also told the MLE what she did to you and she's in a holding cell awaiting a trial. The law wizards say Dad isn't going to finish the divorce proceedings until after the trial so he can force her to undergo Vertiserum testimony!"

"He did all of that? On my word alone? What about our families reputation? What about"

Harry fell silent as he saw his father coming closer to the bed.

"Harry," Kevin asked. "Are you ok?"

"Father's here Kevin. Maybe you should go."

James finally spoke. "No, let him stay Harry. There are some things I need to tell both of you, things I need both of you to understand. First, I'll answer your questions Harry. Of course I trust your word. You're my son, and no matter how I've treated you in the past you've always been honest. Appearances and other things don't matter. You and Kevin always come first. I know I haven't always been there for you in the past. I've been caught up in work, listening to Lily, trying to ensure Kevin would survive Voldemort. Somehow on the way of trying to make sure my family made it out of this war intact, I left you behind, Harry. I'm so sorry. I won't promise it'll never happen again, but I can promise you, I'll try my hardest to prevent it from happening. I promise you to be the best father I can to you."

Harry looked at James with wide, green eyes. He made a small distressed noise and burrowed under the covers of his bed. James flinched and gave Kevin a desperate look. Kevin sighed and walked out of the hospital wing with his father.

"Kevin, do you think Harry will ever forgive me?" James asked, anguish in his voice.

"Daddy, Harry loves you, but he's scared," Kevin sighed softly. "He's always known you cared about him even if you didn't really show it and he's always known how Lily felt as well. I'm the only family member he's had for as long as he can remember who consistently acted as though they loved him. He doesn't want to get emotionally involved again only to be disappointed. You just have to keep being there for him."

"Thank you Kevin. I, I'm sorry, son. About everything."

"It's ok. We both love you and I promise it'll be ok eventually. Tell Harry I'll be by later. I've got to go to class."

* * *

Harry peeked over the covers and watched his father entering the hospital wing. He debated pretending he was asleep before deciding to finally speak with his father. The past week James had been by every day and the most Harry would say was hello father before turning over in bed. James seemed unperturbed though. He came every day without fail and stayed for hours. Sometimes he would sit quietly by the bed and do work. Other times he would just talk to Harry. He spoke of how proud he was of Harry's accomplishments and murmured apology after apology for how Harry had been treated.

"Hello Harry. I hope your day has been going well. Lily's trial was today and she was convicted. She's now in Azkaban. Our divorce will be final tomorrow. "

James continued to speak about his day until Harry interrupted him with a soft, "Dad?"

"Yes, Harry?"

"I, I remember some of the things you said to me when I was the coma and" Harry blushed and twisted his hands in the covers. "And I want to get away for England. Not forever, just for the holidays. I've missed you Dad and I want some time where we don't have to worry about Kevin's fans or anything. I, I just want some time with my family. And I want to see Uncle Remus and Uncle Sirus, so can we please?"

"Of course, Harry," James answered, smiling broadly. "We can go for the entire summer if you like."

"Thank you." Harry took a deep breath. "I didn't want to tell you this because I didn't want you to feel bad, but Kevin says I should. It's always hurt worse, the thought of you not caring about me I mean. Lily was never maternal, but I remembered being your baby boy and I remembered when you were my Daddy and I really really want that back."

James cupped Harry's face and kissed his forehead. "You'll always be my baby boy. I was blinded for a while, but you'll always be my baby. I'll always love you and I'll do my best to make sure you never doubt it again."

James pulled Harry close to him and held him. He felt his shirt becoming damp and felt the tears coming down his own face. He heard a muffled I love you dad and he smiled.

* * *

The school year was finally over. After Harry was finally out of the hospital wing, James continued to come spend time with his son at least three times a week. Now he was picking up his sons from Platform nine and three-quarters.

James grinned as he saw his two boys. He watched them say goodbye to all of their friends and the happiness on Harry's face blew him away. He grabbed them both in a bear hug, ignoring Kevin's protest.

"So my sons are we ready to go visit Padfoot and Moony?"

"Yes! I can't wait. Since the marauders will all be together, you definitely have to teach us the Animagnus transformation! Right Harry?"

"Of course they do Kevin," Harry replied grinning. "Daddy, how are we getting there?"

"Transatlantic portkey. I bet you two can't guess the name of the city." James answered. "It's Forks."

"No way that's the actual name of a city." Kevin said in disbelief.

"Ah, but it is. Now come close and touch this trinket so no one gets left behind."

As James waited for the portkey to activate, he looked into his baby boy's eyes. The joy he could see in Harry now just made life much sweeter. The portkey activated and they landed. Kevin ran towards Remus and Sirus while James steadied Harry. Harry spoke to him quietly. "Thanks Daddy. I really appreciate this. I love you," before running towards Remus and Sirus as well. As James followed his twins, he just smiled realizing the joy and enthusiasm for life he could see in Harry now, joy he hadn't realized his son was missing, made everything worth it.

* * *

AN: It is now complete. I've had this written for a while, but I was trying to get a beta. Unfortunately, I was unsuccessful. I hope you've enjoyed it. No plans for a sequel at the moment, but I do have another little plot bunny that keeps coming back no matter how far I throw it. If you see any grammatical or any other errors please let me know. Sorry for any Americanisms that offend, but the farthest I've been from the U.S. is Jamaica. Also, please please review. Finally, I'm sorry about the long wait and thank you for all the encouragement in the previous reviews. Thanks for reading! Love, peace, and happiness!

Raindancer08


	5. Scene from new story AN

I wanted to add an author's note, and since FFN gets upset when there's an author's note and no chapter I decided to add a scene from a story I'm working on. This isn't the first scene in the story, but it is one of the firsts. Anyways, it's an untitled, multi-chaptered Harry Potter fanfic. As always, no matter how much I beg and plead, I own nothing but the numerous ideas bouncing around my skull. My author's note will be at the bottom! Happy reading!

* * *

Petunia Dursley woke suddenly. "Vernon" she hissed. "Wake up, I think there's something going on outside our house."

"Pet, it's nothing go back to sleep," Vernon grumbled, rolling over.

"No, Vernon, I know there's something going on out there. Come check with me."

Vernon grumbled to himself, but got out of bed as his wife insisted. As she pulled on a dressing gown, he pulled out his rifle, in case there really was someone there. They walked downstairs quietly and Petunia peeked out of the window by the door.

"Vernon, there's a basket on our front step."

"I wonder who put a basket on our step in the middle of the night."

"Never mind that Vernon, get it, see what's inside."

Vernon quickly opened the door, looking around to see if he saw anyone, and pulled the basket inside. He handed the basket to Petunia and quickly shut the door and turned around to find his beloved wife staring in shock.

"Petunia, what-" Vernon began, before looking in the basket himself, jaw dropping as he realized it was a child.

"This is Lily's child Vernon. Why would they have possibly left him on our doorstep?"

"There's a letter, Pet. Maybe it will give us a reason why."

Vernon watched as Petunia quickly read the letter, her face growing paler the more she read.

"Vernon," she whispered. "She's dead, my sister's dead. I always knew that world was no good."

"I'm so sorry, Petunia." Vernon said reaching to hold her. Petunia pushed his hands away, her voice going shrill and loud. "They left her son on our porch in a basket! A basket, Vernon, in the middle of the night! Anything could have happened, a pack of wild dogs could have come by and ripped the boy to shreds, he could have tumbled out of the basket. What if he had awakened while still on the porch? This is why I hate that world so Vernon and I won't have it in my house. The letter says we must raise him, but we'll scare that vile magic out of him if it's the last thing we do. I refuse to let that world take anything else from me."

"Wait, Pet, just a moment. Think. The boy has powers just like his parents right? We'll raise him to know he has powers. We'll tell him all about their world and find a way to teach him about it. But he'll know the most important thing is family. Imagine, he gives us all of his loyalty, all of his love, and he'll use his magic however we ask of him. Imagine, Pet, the power we'll have."

Petunia's eyes were wide, looking at Vernon in awe. "What couldn't we do?" she whispered softly.

"Exactly, Pet, and this time, the world won't take him from you. We'll raise him so he's so loyal to us, so trained to believe only what we tell him is right, he'll never leave us."

"Yes, Vernon, my brilliant love. We have planning to do. First, let's go introduce Harry to his new brother and put him to bed."

Petunia picked Harry up out of the basket and began to head towards the stairs. She stopped when she felt Vernon's hand on her shoulder. He pulled her into a hug and gave her a chaste kiss on the mouth. He then softly caressed Harry's face, the babe nuzzling into Vernon's big hand.

"With you at our side, my boy," Vernon said softly, "there will be nothing too great for the Dursley family."

* * *

1. Does it seem interesting? Please please please let me know! Reviews are some of my best friends!

2. This is the reason for this note... I've decided to participate in National Novel Writing Month this year. For those of you who don't know, it's in November, and it's basically a challenge to write at least a 50,000 word novel in 30 days. Awesome right?

2a. I haven't yet decided if I'm going to write some original fiction or write a fanfic and I'd love to hear opinions.

2b. In preparation for this month of pretty much non stop writing for 30 days I'm trying to start back writing a lot more. As a result of this, I'm taking prompts from readers. I can't promise I'll write something for every prompt, or that I'll even be prompt in writing the prompt :), but I intend to do most of them. Unfortunately, real life still kicks my butt, and I'm in the process of applying for med school :(, so I don't have loads of time. However, if you do deign to send me a prompt I promise to do my best to get to it, and to write you an awesome drabble or short story.

That's all I have for now. Thanks for reading.

Peace, love, and soul

Raindancer


	6. Chapter 6 Lily

This is Lily's story. It's why she is the way she is and why she attempts to kill Harry. I changed the ending a little bit. Please let me know what you think.

* * *

When Lily was a little girl she loved to be around her mother and sister. She believed they were the best people on the planet. Then she turned nine and her mother sat her down to talk to her and Petunia.

"A mother only has so much love, children. Just enough for one child. There is no possible way I could teach you both all of what is necessary to be a lady. So from now on, know you are competing for my love and only the one with the most to offer can have it. Only the best child is worth my time."

When Lily first heard these words coming from the mouth of her beautiful mother, she could scarcely believe them. She tried her best to do well in school and stay clean. Lily did her best to be the best child so she could have her mother's love. However, Petunia, who was older and smarter and eager was always better, always a step ahead. Lily's mother scorned her. Would look at her disdainfully when tears welled in Lily's eyes and sneer she had no use for weak children's whining. When Lily tried to hug her, mother would only push her away whispering you'll have to be perfect to deserve mummy's love.

Then something miraculous happened for Lily. She was invited to a school of witchcraft and wizardry. When the letter first arrived her mother scoffed, telling Lily lying is not the way to receive her love, while Petunia giggled at her sister's plight. Then a woman, named Professor McGonnagal appeared and proved witches were real. She took Lily to a magical alley where she received a wand and books. Professor McGonnagal brought Lily home. When Lily walked in the house, she was shocked to receive a hug and kiss from her mother. "You've done it Lily," she said. "You are my most worthy child. The child I will teach and love. Petunia has been moved from her bigger room into the room where you were, and you now get the bigger one. Oh, the wonders we can achieve together my child. You must be careful to appear sweet and naive to everyone. Write mummy every week and I will guide you."

Lily excitedly drank down every word her mother spoke, internalizing it.  
"The first lesson you must learn, child, is love is weakness. You must take care to never be weak. I am the only person you should love and in time, only your child. You are going into a world of magic. You'll have abilities I can only dream of. Use them child. Learn everything and soon the world will be ours."  
Lily left for Hogwarts with her mother's words ringing in her head. She obediently wrote home once a week, detailing everything she learned of the magical world to her mother. In return her mother sent back detailed instructions of how to manipulate people and to gain what she wanted. Throughout her years at Hogwarts, Lily and her mother schemed of how to bend this world to their whim. They realized the only way to enter the high society of this world was to marry well. So during her seventh year, Lily finally accepted a date with James Potter and was married to him shortly after their graduation.

After her marriage, Lily began to see her mother less and less. She began to wonder about the lessons she was taught. She spoke to Petunia again and both agreed they would never inflict the psychological torture their mother practiced on them onto their children. Lily did her best to become the person she had deceived the world into thinking she was: sweet, kind, and innocent. She allowed herself to love James Potter, but found she always held something back.  
Lily found she was pregnant. She swore to herself, she would love this baby with everything she had and she would not inflict the same standards upon them that were inflicted upon herself. They soon found she was expecting twins. While in the mediwitch's office with James, Lily forced herself to be excited with him. Later, she sat alone in a corner in what would be the twin's nursery cursing her mother and promising to love both children equally.

Soon they were born, and Lily could not help but check to see which one was healthier. She naturally gravitated towards Kevin. He was bigger, stronger, and louder than Harry. Surely this was normally. He just demanded more attention. She still loved Harry. The dreams of her mother were pipe dreams at best anyway. Money, fame, and glory would never occur for her. Without that temptation, Lily knew she could love them both.

Voldemort came and attempted to kill the twins and Lily was overwhelmed with fear. Her babies, they had survived the Dark Lord, but how? She held them close, knowing at this moment she loved them both. Then Dumbledore declared it was Kevin who defeated Voldemort and saved his brother. It was Kevin and he would be famous throughout the Wizarding World. It was Kevin who was a hero.

Kevin reverberated throughout her skull. Echoing again and again. Kevin is the best child. The child who deserves her love. Kevin is their ticket to fame and glory. Kevin is her way to the top of the Wizarding World. And Harry, of course she still loves him. He just can't be her focus. She is a better mother than her own mom. She will not pit her children against each other in a fight for her love.

But as the years pass she find herself neglecting Harry in favor of Kevin more and more. Forgetting to do something for Harry. Being excited over Kevin's accomplishments and barely noticing Harry's. When she notes this change in herself. She is furious. She is not her mother. She is better. She is the best. She sits in the corner of the twin's old nursery and cries, rocking herself against the wall. Suddenly, Lily realizes, this is not her fault. She is the best mother. It's the other brats fault. The one following her perfect Kevin around. Harry has always been a follower. He followed his brother out the womb and has been following ever since. It's his fault. If only he was gone, everyone would see and know how great of a mother she is and Kevin will become everything he can be. They'll be famous and the Wizarding World will be theirs.

She curses Harry one day, just for fun. It's a mild one and it only causes him to itch a bit. He disappears for a while and it's like her, James, and Kevin are the perfect family. She begins to obsess over it. Harry must go. One day she finds him alone, slowly cutting his wrist. Smirking to herself, she casts a compulsion spell, urging him to cut more and deeper. Apparently, Harry's love for his brother Kevin is stronger than her compulsion, because all it takes is her wonderful, perfect boy, begging the useless brat to never cut again to get him to quit.

One day, Dumbledore called Lily and James to come to the Hospital Wing at Hogwarts because Harry and Kevin were hurt from a fight with Death Eaters. When she arrived she found only Harry was truly hurt and Kevin was fine. It was then she got an idea. She could finally get rid of the useless weight holding her perfect family down for good. She could finally be the perfect mother.

Lily spoke softly to Harry and she sliced his wrists. Explaining to him why this had to happen and how they could be the perfect family without him. She cast a spell to stop his blood from clotting and ensured the body bind would hold before softly kissing her youngest on the forehead. 'It's for the best really," she thought. 'And who could say I don't love him. I kissed him goodbye. I am the best mother.' She paused momentarily, watching hungrily as the blood from her child dripped onto the floor. "I really do love you, child" she whispered before disappearing.

When James told her Harry was in a coma, she pretended to be shocked and inside seethed with rage. How did the boy live? She was never able to be in the Hospital Wing alone with him and Madame Pomfrey had 24/7 monitoring charms on him, preventing Lily from killing him. She sat in the corner of the nursery on day, thinking of how to fix the situation when James stormed in the house, demanding to know how she could do this to their child. Why didn't she love him? He looked at her with wide eyes as she explained she did it because she loved them all so much. Harry's death was the only way to be perfect and didn't James want them to be perfect.

"We can go away my love, start over. We can be perfect."  
She reached out to him and stared in shock as he jerked away.  
"You're not perfect, Lily," he spat. "In fact, you are the worst, most imperfect thing I have ever seen."  
She recoiled in shock. Her face disappeared into her knees and she slowly rocked to herself mumbling over and over, 'perfect, I'm perfect, we're perfect. I can make us better. We're the best because we're perfect.'

She didn't notice when they arrested her or when they gave her Vertiserum. She didn't notice the looks of shock and disgust on the faces of the Wizengamut as they listened to her testimony. She didn't notice the pity on the face of the Mind-Healer or the explanation of the programming embedded deep in her by her mother or the psychotic break caused by Voldemort's attack the Mind-Healer gave to her family. She didn't notice the walls of the mental institution they forced her into and she didn't notice time pass. She merely lived in the waking coma of her own delusions, wishing and hoping to be perfect enough to deserve love.

* * *

Please let me know what you think. I am finally working on the Nice!Dursleys story and while working on it I felt inspired to write this. I hope you enjoyed it.


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